Coping with feelings of confinement and isolation from illness or aging

Feeling Confined and Isolated by Illness or Aging

Source: Webster Senior Center News
Linda Slota, Director

Author: Patricia Normile

You are confined to a space less than what you are accustomed to - a room, a bed, a chair. You may have surrendered your car keys. Your world seems to have shrunk and is squeezing you into its confines. On top of that, you may feel isolated from other people - your family, your friends, the variety of activities you have enjoyed. You may have arrived in this uncomfortable place in life by a number of pathways. Sometimes it happens quickly when you suffer an injury or sudden illness. The slow progression of the aging process may stolen some of yor mobility. Dear ones may have moved away or died, leaving you feeling alone in your diminishing world. Whatever the causes, one day you wake up feeling isolated and lonely. This is not a pleasant feeling.

Working Your Way Through

Quite a difference exists between being alone and feeling lonely. One can be alone for extended periods and still feel connected to others. One can be with others and yet feel lonely. Often the difference is in our state of mind - how we feel about ourselves and our future, our sense of hopefulness or hopelessness. The good news is that much can be done to alleviate your feelings of isolation and confinement. Here are a few places to start:

Treasure Your Experience of Being Along

This may sound like a strange place to begin but think back to times when you had so much to do that you could find no time for yourself. How can you take advantage of it? This may be a time to get to know yourself better. Who are you today? What have you done that you are proud of in life? What would you like to do today that is possible? During this special time, count your blessings. Write a list of the good things, people, and events in your life. Perhaps photos have gathered dust on a closet shelf. Organize them into albums, providing labels and dates if possible. Treasure the happy memories they hold.

Invite Others to Help Fill Your Needs

Confinement makes us dependent upon others, a feeling that can make us uncomfortable. Yet dependence also brings opportunities. Inviting others to help us gives them an opportunity to feel needed, and everyone needs to feel needed. Others do want to help, but even the most kindhearted of people can get so involved in their own lives that they may not see the needs of others. So state your needs; be specific, but not too demanding:"I need a new pair of shoes. Could you take me to buy some when it is convenient?" Or simply, "Could you visit for a while this weekend? I get so lonely." Perhaps you can invite a more mobile friend to join you at a movie, play, or concert, then pay for the tickets as your way of saying thanks. Physical touch is a basic human need. Reach out to others with a handshake or a pet on the shoulder. "I could use a hug," or, "Would you rub my back?" usually gets a positive response. A massage can do wonders to make us feel connected with our own bodies and with another human being.

Expand Your Horizons

Although your body is confined to a limited space, your mind is free to wander to exciting realms. Quality videos are available from your public library as are books on tape or in print.

MORE TO COME....