Growing Old Without Fear

Linda Slota, Director Webster Senior Center

Feeling good about yourself and in control of your life is tremendously important at any age- but especially as you grow older, when you may feel besieged by many threats to your well-being. Over time, your youthful appearance and vigor may have diminished. You may have had to give up activities you once enjoyed. Perhaps you do not feel as productive as before retirement; perhaps you no longer have the financial security of former years. You may have suffered illness or loss of eyesight, hearing, bladder control, mobility. And, most painful of all, you have probably experienced the deaths of people very dear to you.

Working Your Way Through

The fear of aging is the common denominator in all these reactions. How can you and I best face the fears and anxieties that accompany aging? Keep on giving of yourself - and receive graciously. The world needs you!  To feel needed and to meet the needs of other people, especially members of your immediate family, can be a main source of meaning and hope for you. Take the risk of meeting new people and making new friends.

Make Friends of All Ages

An 86 year old once said: "If I had not made many friends of all ages, I would not have any friends now. I would have outlived them all and been alone in the world!" If you have friends only in your own age group, you might tend to "pool" and thus reinforce all your fears of aging. If you have older friends, however, you can borrow from their wisdom about coping with getting old. When you cultivate younger friends, their spirit of youth will renew yor own youth; their visions will inspire you.  

Come to Terms with the Losses You Have Sustained

Allow yourself to mourn the sorrowful loss of your brother or sister, your mother or father, your child, your spouse, or your close friend. You must grieve fully, giving grief the time to do its work. You will move through stages of shock, numbness alternately accepting and rejecting the tragic reality, pouring out your sorrow in tears, and ultimately coming to a sense of peace with yourself and your situation. 

Don't Be Afraid to Ask for Help

Maintaining independence and control over your own decision making are highly prized rights. Take advantage of the services in your community - whether you need a different living situation, help around the home, transportation, counseling, medical assistance, financial advice. Use your social network - family and friends -  to locate the help that you need.

Take Inventory of Factors That Age You

Smoking, cholesterol-rich foods, excessive exposure to the sun, driving without seat belts fastened - these practices can make you "health age" muh higher than your actual age.

Take Heart

As an older adult, you now have the experience and stength and wisdom to do well with life's challenges -even the challenge of aging itself. If you can affirm your aging, and refuse to let your life get stagnant, your aging will present you with rich opportunities to explore new dimenions of yourself.